Those Crazy Scots

Those Crazy Scots

When Being Ginger Goes Too Far

Student Tours Scotland loves this country and the fact that the guide is ginger is great. However sometimes the rage inside a ginger can boil over. Perhaps it's a Scottsh thing in general and not just about the colour of hair.

We are crazy, us Scots. Seriously. And angry too. I’m ginger, I’m more qualified than most. You just need to be around me to see my rage. Once at a cliff top in San Marino I almost killed a bunch of Brazilians for no good reason other than they accidentally hurt my glasses. My poor glasses, there’s even a tiny wee scratch to prove it - I’ve never forgotten that day. The Brazilians haven’t either. It was a day rage, a day of anger and a day of a whole new level of fear.

You can imagine the scene as Leo accidentally makes contact, my glasses shoot off at speed in one direction and my rage and angry boils over, erupting forth from my face with a tirade of noise and profanity like never before. Webber stands on in disbelief as Pedro tries hard to work out what is going on. Even tank-like Caio looks like he might die of shock as the we ginger guy evolves like a pokemon into Gary-zard. Poor Leo, his face of fear and terror must have felt like everyone in a clown horror film does when finally faced with the madness in front of them. Thankfully I don’t always go insane and managed to calm down, it was, after all, just my glasses (although I really have never forgotten it).

We are crazy, us Scots, I’ll say it again. In some ways the madness is part of our identity. Just look at William Gibson, I mean Mel Wallace in Braveheart. If we can brandish our arse at a bunch of spear-throwing soldiers then we can do anything. Crazy doesn’t always translate to rage - it can be just plain weird.

Check out the pic of this note. It’s from a cool wee vista called Rough Castle, or Roughcastle. It all depends on your love of spaces and capital letters. I quite like R. Ough Castl. E - but I suspect that might confuse most people. Roughcastle was a part of the Antonine Wall.

You’ve probably heard of Hadrian’s Wall? No? Then I guess you’ve never watched Game of Thrones then. Well, at least I think so, I’ve never watched it either but there IS a wall. So there. Hadrian’s Wall was built to keep the Scot’s out of the Roman Empire. We were so unloved, so undesired that even the greatest empire of it’s time didn’t want us. That’s not to say we didn’t try, they just misunderstood our madness and crazy, death-bringing ways. Perhaps that was the Scots way of saying hello?

The Romans did come pretty far in Scotland but they fortified a line north of Glasgow and Edinburgh called the Antonine Wall. Sadly it was most earthworks and wood so little remains. However the locations around the wall are worth a look-see. On an upcoming Student Tours Scotland tour (see here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/coach-trip-kelpies-falkirk-wheel-and-wallace-monument-2200-per-head-tickets-20127416645) we will actually go to the Antonine Wall (as well as the Kelpies, the Wallace Monument and the Falkirk Wheel). Roughcastle is the location of choice and the views and atmosphere of the place should leave you feeling like something must have happened here. It was afterall the location of a fort.

The best bit about it and my favourite way to summarise how crazy the Scots were, is the defence mechanism that they had at Roughcastle. Student Tours Scotland will show it to you, of course, but try not to fall into the trap. It was, after all, a genius and terrifying trap. Behind the “wall” there were a series of potholes filled with spikes. SPIKES. We were so barbaric and mental in Scotland that they armed themselves with pitfall spikes like something from Indiana Jones. Come and see for yourself on the tour.

You should try hard to appreciate the Scots and the folk of Glasgow while you are here, but don’t imitate us too much. We don’t want you stepping off the plane in Madrid and embarking on a coup plot to overthrow the government. Just have a whisky instead. Student Tours Scotland tries to do that to calm down too.